My claims to Integrity

I am still very young. I haven’t lived through enough of torrid times to testament my life. But If I still want to stake claim for something that would be for an unflinching integrity. My family has been one great influence. A father, who has never taken up divorce cases, advocates the sincerity and adherence to certain basic principles. My mother has always instructed me never to ask for anything from anyone. You will get what you deserve, don’t ask she says.

I have followed them as far as I could. I have not asked for more marks, I have not asked for a better performance rating. I have taken things on my stride. I have not done things that I wish not to do.

Truth is one thing we stand answerable to in every action of ours. My adherence to truth is not in the sense of the mahatma. I don’t take oaths and follow them. It is just allowing truth and conscience to take guard at every step. My mother did not ask me for a promise before I went abroad. I did not avoid drinks or Non-Veg because of a promise but I avoided them coz I was not interested in having them.

Gandhi’s form of truth was self-control. My form of truth is self-interest. I don’t mean to compare myself with Gandhi but when it comes to truth he is the only point of reference before our eyes. My school had a lot of influence in shaping up my integrity. There again it was self-control which I don’t profess.

Righteousness is the toughest to implement. And how do we practice truth. Do we go about disclosing the truth to every other person we meet. Is it not a case of weak personality? Isn’t it a case of a chatterbox rather than a person of integrity? Professing truth to me is disclosing the truth to the people concerned. Being truthful to the self and to others when they are concerned with it or affected by it is integrity.

Recapturing my own life I can find but one instance when I have not been integral enough. It becomes tough to maintain all our integrity when certain thing is elusive. And one side of my life that has been elusive is LOVE. I should have carried the intentions of marriage which I did not do. I was too concerned with my situations. I should have at least disclosed my love to the person most concerned with it. But I rather disclosed it to the entire world except for her. I failed to break down my situations to the basic premises in my life. I was too concerned with the superficial elements. And I led to conflict in mind and to all the confusions crept in.

Today I feel bad not for the times when I felt insulted, not for the times when I felt defeated, but for this one time when I failed to comply with my own standards. These are but a test of character we endure and the more we endure the more we are bound to improve. I have failed in the first such test. Hope this remains the only failure.

Reservations

Kudos to Arjun singh and NDTV. the debate on reservation has spiralled to the mainstream yet again with Mandal 2. But how healthy the debate has been. How acceptable the allegations have been are all in question. The pro and anti groups are fighting it out in the middle. And both groups seem to be self centered and not ready to move an inch.

On the one side the students for equality seeking admissions through merit. Iam confused with equality and merit. How are they synonymous. when you accept equality you dont seek competition. Ok its about equality in opportunities. I would come to that part later.

At the other side the argument for reservation is that the system of testing merit allows only well trained people to get through. So we need a way of entry for those who are unable to get trained. Now if the way to the front door is filled with thorns do you clear the thorns or do you blast the back side of the building to create an entry. Which one is easier and which one is logical to do.

When it is a government move it can make the right move or the wrong one.The government can change the system of testing to ensure all people get admission as they deserve it without any need for training. But the government wouldn't do it as it isn't a populist move. Somehow subsequent governments have never tried to ensure the benefits of reservation is accrued by its benefactors. Rather it has been a tool in the hands of the wrong people playing for the vote bank. Hence reservation instead of going down in degree has only gone up.

How long will the government carry the socially deprived on its shoulders. Accepted that if not for reservation, most social groups would have been denied entry by the society. We have accepted the socially deprived because law has forced us to do so. But the mentality is changing and the government the society in general and the benefactors should recognize the change and accept to compete in an open environment. As long as this doesnt happen there is no use of the reservation initiative taken almost 60 years ago.

But why this fight in the streets for equal opportunities. This would be resorted to only by the people with a defeatist mindset. If there are only 40 seats available as against 90, and if the marks you need to score spirals to 98 from 95 accept it. Think we had only 40 in the first place. Why are we to be afraid that we cant get in within that 40 seats. Why should we seek for protection. We have lived with reservation all along. This is not new to us. We shall compete and get through whatever hurdles imposed on us. After you get through such immense competition you might feel bad to see a person of much lower brilliance sitting next to you by virtue of his/her birth. But Just dont care for it and go ahead.

If we go ahead competing for the fewer seats available we can atleast ensure whoever comes out are well qualified. If we increase the seats and dilute the quality in a hurry, we would end up losing the certain quality in these institutions as well. Allow life to decide the success and failure quotients. If we are confident enough of fighting this through in the examination halls, we shall not resort to fighting at the roads.